Well yes. It's been believed to be good to praise kids for their smartness. It is believed to be boosting their self-esteem. What happens actually though? Read through the dialogs to know some amazing insights based on latest research.
Is your kid smart?
- He is in level 7 of COC (Of those who don’t know what COC is, you need to talk to your kids more!).
- She loves Maths and always scores an A+.
- The Science project he did got 3rd prize. He is super, he studies just before exams and still scores an A!
Oh yes, he/she is SMART!!! So how do you praise him/her?
- Taking her out on dinner. Movie, pop corn, ice creams.
- Buying a personal cell phone or tablet. Gifting him aids that he can use like pens, colours.
- It feels so good when we see them happy and content! They love us more when we reciprocate and celebrate their success!!!
- We need to let them know that they are making mistake! So I tell her in as many words. AS MANY words so that she doesn't make the same mistake again. And yes, it works…she mostly doesn't make the same mistake again!
Well...we all need to re-think about this strategy. A huge research is done around how to praise kids and what are best ways to do it?
When we praise kids for their “smartness” or “Intelligence”, we supposedly build their self esteem. But at the same time, we give them their self image to live up to. We tell them, “You are smart! (And unsaid expectation or communication is - we will appreciate whenever you do an act of smartness. Isn't it?). We in a way tell them “Don’t do anything that makes you look stupid!”. We in a way tell them “DON’T TAKE RISKS!”. We start limiting them.
It was observed that kids who were appreciated for smartness showed significant drop in resilience, persistence. Why? they were a little afraid to fail. They were thinking that the challenge in front of them is too big for their smartness. Really!!!
Also, remember to always praise them for real efforts, where you have seen them putting in sweat.
Does it mean success should go unappreciated?
No, it doesn’t mean success shouldn’t be appreciated. It just means a lot of emphasis should be put on efforts than the outcome. When they succeed they always feel that it’s because of the efforts that they have put in, they are successful.
How does natural talent play a role?
So next time, your kid